For some reason lately I have been pretty negative about life! I have been feeling down because I have heard so many people talk about how life is hard and it doesn't always go our way...and I know that is totally true! But this attitude has gotten in my spirit lately and has done some damage! I have been feeling like my marriage is a huge blessing but one day it will end in tragedy with the loss of one of us! I have been feeling like yea having kids is going to be great...however what if they don't love God...what if this and what if that....We are building a house...and my thoughts are oh it ll be great...but Lord what if we lost our house...its not worth it. Ive thought about our jobs, Brian has a great thing going for him at Austal and I find myself thinking oh God what if he lost that one day! Now all of these things are things that HAVE happened to people in life before and I know that I am not immune to problems. However this whole mind set has become a problem and it is stealing my joy! God is good and no matter what comes good or bad HE is in control! I am tired of being so negative about the future! In Christ we have a future and a hope! I know that pertains to eternal life but I believe that means that HE will take care of us and give us a great life in THIS life! Trials are going to come...I know this...they already have....but if I spend my time worrying about when tragedy is going to strike...I am missing it!
Now the reason that I am seeing that this is a problem is because of something that happened at Merge last night. We had an awesome service and the Holy Spirit really moved! We had two messages in tongues and the interpretations. The first one was powerful but the 2nd one was for me for sure! The Holy Spirit spoke and said a lot of powerful things but the thing that stood out to me the most was "I am the one who parted the red sea, I am the one who shut the mouths of Lions,What report are you going to bring me, a good one or one of unbelief?" Son I hit my knees because at that moment I knew that I had been guilty of "Unbelief". When the children went in to spy out the land and then came back to report what they saw....they had a VERY negative report! They said yes it is a land of fruitfulness (Paraphrasing lol) flowing with milk and honey, but there are enemies in the land, they are great and we are as grasshoppers compared to them! I don't think it is a good idea to press on!" WOW Exactly what I have been doing! They operated in unbelief! Only a few out of the great number of people stood up and said, NO we can make it through with God on our side! If God be for us who can be against us!? That is the attitude that was instilled in me last night through conviction and repentance! I'm am so thankful that even though we are wrong in our thinking sometimes and we are not doing what is pleasing to God that through conviction HE is able to bring us back to where we need to be!!
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