In His time!

I had a rough go with guys! I will just be honest! When I was young and lost I dated "bad boys". Which meant that they treated me poorly and were not in the best crowds. I dated anywhere from abusive physically, drug abusers, criminals, or they were mentally abusive! I had seen it all! And thought there was no hope in guys! I was in a toxic relationship when I got saved and obviously that had to go! It wasnt as easy as that sounds though! It was hard! I "loved" him (as much as you can when you are young). It was hard! When I got saved my whole life began to change (for the better) but it was difficult at times! God began to change my friends...my music...my style...my entertainment...my environment...and DEFINITELY my relationships! I had to follow Christ! I just had to! There was no other option for me! It was never in the cards for me to go back and not serve Jesus...I had tasted and seen! So yea after a long couple of months of me fighting the will of God I had to get rid of the guy I was with! I entered a very hard road of restoration! Restoration in the way of healing the wounds in my heart...and finding out who I am in Christ! Was it easy NO! It was hard! There were times I would lay in my room and feel overwhelmed with lonliness and pray and ask God to send my husband!! I had one time where I was in my room praying and God spoke to me and I wrote it down! HE said "You are my child and I will take care of you! I am sending you a husband and you will have a family! But in my timing not yours!" OR somthing to that affect! I was like ok God...There would be times that I would find myself praying for this "unknown husband" I remember praying that God would keep His hand on Him and deliver Him from anything He is going through! HA!!
Well 9 months go by and of course I am like looking for "the one" and yea...he hasnt came yet I had been single all this time! So of course I am like looking for him everywhere I go! Well I was at a service at a church and during worship a random guy walked up to me and told me to look at him. He said "I dont know why but God wants me to tell you that HE has seen your lonely nights and He is sending your husband to you! Just hold on!" I was like wow...ok Lord!
So I am at merge the next week and a guy walks in...He is nice looking and He seems interested in me...Im thinking wow ok God you sure do work fast! NOT! Dated him and it was a train wreck! He was not very nice!! He treated me terribly and he was a "Christian". (Not saying he isnt but anyways)
So I date him for about six months too long! I have been mentally abused! Been in bondage to religion because of his ways...and it was just horrible! I was at my lowest point and was just done with guys!
Two months go by and I have been praying and allowing God to heal me from the damage...And in walks this gorgeous guy(came in merge). I was doing drama that night and I spoke in the altar. I could feel him staring at me and when I would look HE wouldnt take his eyes off of me...sounds creepy but it wasnt at all. There was just something about him... I met him and I thought he was gorgeous! I began to pray about him because I knew that there was a serious connection there and I was fearful of that! I guess I was fearful because I wanted God's will and didnt want to waste anymore time on someone that wasnt...because all that brought me was pain!
I prayed and prayed and God confirmed time and time again and I ended up marrying that gorgeous hunk of man!! And let me tell you that when it is God...it is Good! When it isnt God...it isnt good! I want this to be a sort of testimony and an encouragement! There is someone out there for you that God has created for you! But however there is also someone out there that is not sent from God and they will be sent to you to distract you! Pray people...before you talk to a person of the opposite sex...pray before you date someone!! Never just jump into a relationship...because it WILL end in disaster if it is not of God! And you will come out on the other side damaged and that is not what God wants! God is faithful! He knows that it "is not good for man to be alone" and if that is a desire of your heart...he WILL bring it to pass! But you have to be out of the way and you cant allow anyone else to take the place of what God has for you!

It's a new season! It's a new day!

So it's been a while since I've written a new blog.. The holidays have had me swamped! Anywho.. Just a quick word that's been burning in me a lately. Through all of the holiday hustle and bustle... As wonderful as all that is... I have not been in the word and in prayer like I should've been! Blame it on the season... Sure. But in all reality it's been me... I've been a little distant from God. Not in a "backsliding" way just distant. Kinda of lazy...taking my relationship with God kind of casually as its been well put before. Well my husband and I had an awesome discussion while out on a date recently. I told him how I've been feeling lately...how i want to be in the word and in prayer but im so lazy its ridiculous...and he (led by the spirit) began to talk about Romans chapter 7 (paraphrasing)where Paul begins to talk about how he desires or delights in the things of God.... The law, the righteousness... He desires to seek after these things however he sees something warring against that. He sees a war in his members! He then goes on to talk about how he ends up doing the things that he doesn't want to do and the things he does want to do... He doesn't do lol. Well Mr. Paul I Anjel Hendry can relate. With not having been in the word lately at all and kinda just being lazy in prayer and treating God Casually I've been feeling pretty beat up and alone. But when my husband began to talk to me about the struggles that Paul was dealing with I became so encouraged!! Because after Paul says all of this stuff he then goes on to say in the very next chapter Romans 8:1 there is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. So it's a normal struggle. A struggle that needs to be dealt with and learned from.... But there is no condemnation!!! Thank u God!
Well my hubby also got me a new bible for Christmas the "fire" bible. It's leather bound and has my name on it... It's a great tool to start out the new year right!!! I've already been in the Word more than ever lately!!! 2013 does not have to be a year of the same old struggles... It's a new season and a new year!!! Stand up, fight, grow, learn, give, forget, seek, pray, read, forgive, resist, shake it off, get fired up, and get READY!!!!!

Remember!

Sometimes we tend to get in this thing and forget where we came from! We get hardened to the things that should move us and we miss out! I have recently been going through this! I have kind of just been going through the motions and I needed a wake up call! This past Sunday my pastor preached on Jesus! :) best kind! And he was just talking about how he has been given authority and how He is in control and it was very moving! Just being reminded of the God that I serve and who He is and what His nature is was very encouraging! Jesus deals with us ever so gently! He talked about the story of the lady caught in the act of adultery and how the people of that day were ready to stone her and kill her because of her sin! They bring her before Jesus feet and ask Him what they should do to her. (trying to catch Him willing to break Moses law, because Moses law said she should be stoned) So Jesus calmly bends down to write on the ground....(What He wrote we do not know) But then He looks at the people and says those who are among you that are without sin can cast the first stone! And they were pricked in their hearts and dropped their rocks and walked away! Then Jesus bent down to the woman and said woman where are your accusers? She looked around and said...I have none! And He said neither do I condemn you..go and sin no more! And she got up and her life was changed forever! What a picture of mercy! Jesus said the statement "Those among you who are without sin cast the first stone..." that was meant to remind them that YES this lady was sinning but could anyone of them REALLY pick up a rock in judgment and throw it at this woman?? They knew that they too had sin in their lives! So Powerful! I love Jesus and how HE treats us! How many times though have I been one of the people that has a stone in my hand instead of saying go and sin no more! God help us to respond to sinners like Jesus would! With mercy! Was HE condoning her sin?? Absolutely not!! But He died to save us! HE never expects us to be good enough to make it to heaven on our great behavior...lol that is why He came to die!
        But at the end of pastors message he told a story about a girl that had a very broken life and as a teenager she went to a church and Jesus happened to be there that night! She took the broken pieces of her life and handed them to Jesus and He made her brand new! Then HE called her to preach the gospel! As I listened to him tell this story I became pricked in my heart and I walked down to the altar and cried! Thank God! The reason this story pricked me in this way was because I was that girl at one point! Was he talking about me? No but I have the same story!! I was a teenager (19) and I met Jesus in an altar and handed Him the broken pieces of my life and asked Him to change me and lead me home! And then HE called me to preach! Some times we need to be reminded that WE have been redeemed! We can get in such a routine that we forget that Jesus has done such an amazing work in our lives!! Thank you Jesus!!

A Future and a Hope!

For some reason lately I have been pretty negative about life! I have been feeling down because I have heard so many people talk about how life is hard and it doesn't always go our way...and I know that is totally true! But this attitude has gotten in my spirit lately and has done some damage! I have been feeling like my marriage is a huge blessing but one day it will end in tragedy with the loss of one of us! I have been feeling like yea having kids is going to be great...however what if they don't love God...what if this and what if that....We are building a house...and my thoughts are oh it ll be great...but Lord what if we lost our house...its not worth it. Ive thought about our jobs, Brian has a great thing going for him at Austal and I find myself thinking oh God what if he lost that one day! Now all of these things are things that HAVE happened to people in life before and I know that I am not immune to problems. However this whole mind set has become a problem and it is stealing my joy! God is good and no matter what comes good or bad HE is in control! I am tired of being so negative about the future! In Christ we have a future and a hope! I know that pertains to eternal life but I believe that means that HE will take care of us and give us a great life in THIS life! Trials are going to come...I know this...they already have....but if I spend my time worrying about when tragedy is going to strike...I am missing it!
       Now the reason that I am seeing that this is a problem is because of something that happened at Merge last night. We had an awesome service and the Holy Spirit really moved! We had two messages in tongues and the interpretations. The first one was powerful but the 2nd one was for me for sure! The Holy Spirit spoke and said a lot of powerful things but the thing that stood out to me the most was "I am the one who parted the red sea, I am the one who shut the mouths of Lions,What report are you going to bring me, a good one or one of unbelief?" Son I hit my knees because at that moment I knew that I had been guilty of "Unbelief". When the children went in to spy out the land and then came back to report what they saw....they had a VERY negative report! They said yes it is a land of fruitfulness (Paraphrasing lol) flowing with milk and honey, but there are enemies in the land, they are great and we are as grasshoppers compared to them! I don't think it is a good idea to press on!" WOW Exactly what I have been doing! They operated in unbelief! Only a few out of the great number of people stood up and said, NO we can make it through with God on our side! If God be for us who can be against us!? That is the attitude that was instilled in me last night through conviction and repentance! I'm am so thankful that even though we are wrong in our thinking sometimes and we are not doing what is pleasing to God that through conviction HE is able to bring us back to where we need to be!!

Called!

About 2 years ago before my husband and I were married I was called to preach. I was given a sermon and I was pumped. It's funny though because I was still too scared to preach it.There was sermon after sermon that was preached and the altar calls at Merge were given that said..."If you feel that you are called to preach come down to the altar and we will pray!" I remember lots of people flooding the altar and I stayed behind scared like "Nuh-uh Lord...you haven't called me! The devil is a Lie lol!" Because I was nervous! So I guess you could say that I was running from what I knew God had called me to do! Well let me just tell you how funny God is! He has a sense of humor that is for sure! One day I was driving home from student teaching (Brian and I were married) and I was praying! I was saying "Lord please help me when I teach! Help me to have the anointing when I am up there Lord! God I pray that you would give me strength!" I was going on and on and then all of a sudden out of no where I said, "Lord, anoint me to preach your Word!" LOL The Holy Ghost snuck it in!! It was insane lol...but after that I laughed and surrendered to God! I accepted that I had been called to preach and I began to preach at Merge! Since then I have preached about 10 sermons and I have been invited to the Nazarene church to preach to a youth group! IT has been awesome! But I will say this! The war fare started immediately! It was pretty weak in the beginning! However it has heated up recently...it is tough! About a month after I surrendered to the call (About 9 months ago) my pastor heard that I had been called and he quietly spoke to me in the altar one night and he said this..."With the anointing to preach comes a great battle, but do not fear the battle and trials, because God is in control!" That was very encouraging at the time but I guess I didn't realize just how much truth was in that statement! I remember the first 3-4 sermons that I preached I was sick in my body EVERY time! One week I was having stomach issues, the next time a cold, the next time a sinus infection! After about the 3rd time I realized...ok seems to be a pattern and I began to pray a little more before I was about to enter into that time frame! The it picked up a little! I began to experience spiritual warfare on a whole other level! I began to be depressed and oppressed by nothing! Everything was going good but I felt as if I was falling apart! After a season of that I had some friends take authority over it with me in Jesus name. Thank GOD that left! HA but lately I have had some more intense spiritual warfare...I have had Satan trying to tear my integrity down! Trying to make me leave my church because of different situations! Crazy! OR as my good friend says.."Cray Cray" LOL. It is unfortunate because of the situations around me...however it is really an honor! To suffer because of the call of Christ on your life is kind of exhilarating! I think about that one story about the men who tried to cast out demons and the demons said Paul I know, and Jesus I know but who are you!" I hope that the devil knows who you are in Christ!I hope that he is threatened by who you are in Christ! We in ourselves are nothing for him to be afraid of, however a Christian full of the Holy Ghost walking in their calling is a force to be reckoned with for the Devil....and I am not afraid! Because I know whose I am! I am going to keep preaching and keep on keeping on! The devil is a fool and a BIG LIAR! HE wants to discourage you and keep you down! If you let him...he will win!

Guard yourselves!

I have come to realize that things happen for a reason! People are placed in your life for a reason! It is awesome to see how even the people that have been sent for your destruction can be beneficial to you! I am slowly learning that not everyone has your best interest in mind! I have been to gullible in my walk with God! Some people are out to learn who you are and how you feel and then use it against you! And that is completely ok! Because it is all a part of the growing process! God loves us all...even the people that are being used by Satan! But he also knows the intent of mans heart and He will try to help us realize that everyone doesn't think like we do. The Bible even tells us to be as wise as serpents, and as harmless as a dove! The WISE part is what we lack alot of times! I feel like I am wise but then I look back and see how unwise I have been with sharing my heart with people that I really do not know and assuming the best about everyone! I feel like over time that innocence has to be lost! We have to get to a place where we truly realize that this demonic stuff is real and that the devil is out to destroy us! Jesus even said that Satan desires to sift us as wheat and that he truly does! I have seen lately how Satan is working all around us! He is trying to pick off people around me one by one! But thankfully the rest of that scripture...Jesus says..."But I have prayed for you that your faith would fail you not!" So Through all that the devil tr to do to destroy us we must press on! We must continue this walk with God! Having done all to stand...still STAND! If you are living the life that God wants you to live the devil is going to come after you! He hates you and wants to knock you off your foundation of Jesus! He wants to make things seem so bad that you no longer follow Jesus! Well in all things still follow God! It will be worth it! That scripture where some guys came to the demon possessed people and tried to cast them out and the demons responded with "Jesus I know and Paul I know, but who are you?" and they beat them up and threw them in a ditch! I sure hope that if we confronted a devil that they wouldn't respond to us like this! Its almost exciting that the attack against us increases in strength, because that shows that the devil views us as a threat! (Not us but who we are in Christ) So count it all joy brethren! God is in control! However guard yourselves, because the devil desires to sift us as wheat!! Be cautious of people who come in sheep's clothing but inside are ravenous wolves! God Bless! Pray to the good Lord for the gift of Discernment because we WILL need it in these last days!!

All creation!

I was recently shown a video that was amazing...lol some might think it's weird but I thought it was completely on point! I will attach the video so that you can see for yourself but what I took from it was this...EVERYTHING is praising God! All of creation is praising the Lord! They praise Him with the flap of a wing, with the wag of a tail, with everything they do! You will see on the video just how deep that goes! Our God is surrounded by constant praise all day and all night since the dawn of time. Now sadly most of mankind doesn't praise Him...which is ridiculous seeing how we are supposedly some of the most intelligent beings on the planet...can we not just take a look around and see that there is a God! And He definitely deserves to be worshiped! I had a friend that as He was trying to decide whether or not to follow God, he thought..."If there is a God, I should worship Him." And that is the thought that every person on earth should be thinking! The God of the Bible created everything and deserves the Highest praise! My husband and I were watching a show the other day and they started talking about how the earth and universe were formed....and they started saying..."It all began with a big bang...and I got a little angry lol...I was like these people are so ignorant! (Sorry...being real) and my husband laughed and said..."I'm sure it did start with a big bang! The booming of God's voice!" LOL Go Brian! Preach that lol! That's good!
         I am going to post this video and I know it may be different but I want you to keep in mind that Jesus said...If we don't praise Him the rocks would begin to cry out!! Haha God doesn't need our worship...He desires it! Praise Him church!!

Enjoy :)