So yea its kind of affected my walk with the Lord a little bit...Considering how lazy and tired I feel ALL the time...it pours over into my relationship with God....LAZINESS. Which I wont lie to you...a little laziness has always kind of been an issue for me anyways when it comes to pursuing God...so it only got worse. I have been COMPLETELY walking in the flesh lol...my flesh man is SUPER strong and my poor little spirit man is just almost completely dead! So sad I know...but just being honest! But thankfully I have an awesome husband and an awesome God!
Brian has been pretty fired up about the Word lately which is awesome since I haven't been...(Always a balancing act with us :)) He has been reading it to "the baby" and getting excited about it as he reads. Not knowing that "the mommy" was the one really needing it! So as I have been seeing the Word come alive to him it has stirred me up inside a little to want to read more and it was coming alive to me personally! But only when I ACTUALLY took time to read it! Remember...lazy!! So yea still...feeling beat up and pretty low.
There was also this song that has been coming on the radio a lot lately that I love...the words are..."You're my revival song, that's right where I belong...on my knees...on my knees...when I am weak you're strong, you meet me here when I'm on my knees, on my knees" So true! It hits me every time I hear it!! So powerful! I came to that conclusion last night after a long talk with my husband and desperate tears for a move of God and a change in my walk I realized...every area that is lacking in my personal life..for example...my ability to walk around with joy...and my ability to love others...and my ability to be full of life...all would be worked out if Jesus was first in my life! My priorities are messed up and they need to me fixed. -Honesty isn't fun some times...it hurts...especially when we are having to be honest with ourselves...
But here is the climax and the reason for the title of this post...Last night after I told my hubby how I was feeling...He began to pray a VERY deep and heartfelt prayer for me. MUCH needed. I began to cry and tell God..."Lord...I need revival...not for a shout..not for any reason other than needing to be revived! I feel like I've been dying! (My fault too) So as I prayed I said this one thing...Lord...I'm too weak to even get up...I need you to come to me and pick me up. And that is exactly what I saw Him doing in my head...I saw me as a small child...with a skinned knee unable to get up by myself...wanting my "Daddy" and I saw Him coming over and lovingly scooping me up and taking care of my wounds...IT was beautiful and I had so much peace going to sleep last night! It was such a sweet presence of the Father...Woke up feeling renewed! I want to encourage this morning...we have a heavenly Father who loves us and WILL come to our rescue!!
